Creating filtered version of banner image.


VO4TA: Steve Martin

Hugh P. Klitzke blogs at


Tweet, Like, Browse, Follow, @VO4TA


Commercial Feedback Class  - Monday February 27th!  One seat remains!  


Announcing March 2017 dates next week!


VO4TA: Steve Martin


This is fun.  From Steve Martin’s 1998 New Yorker article - Side Effects


“Side Effects by Steve Martin”


“DOSAGE: take two tablets every six hours for joint pain.”


“SIDE EFFECTS: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the ears. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty per cent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you. You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay...”


He goes on from there.




Hugh P. Klitzke blogs at


He was so young when he saw “The Jerk”, he didn’t realize it was a comedy. He still wants a red billiard room with a stuffed camel.


Mon Feb 27th, 7pm Comm Feedback Class One seat available!


If you liked this post take a look at:

Legal and Fair Balance


Bacall and Roosevelt


Read the Best of VO4TA on Medium

Subscribe for free to HPK’s blog feed


This is a personal weblog.  The opinions and ideas expressed here are my own and are not those of any of my employers.


Be the first to respond!

Post a comment